The Value in Accepting Defeat

If you’re like most people, ok, well if you’re like me, you’ve probably felt defeated at some point in our life. In my case it’s been more than a few times. When I was younger, less mature and definitely suffered from an immense lack of wisdom, I always felt as though defeat weakened me. I felt that being defeated meant I was less of a person somehow.

After what has been an extremely difficult, trying and stressful year, I’m faced with defeat once again. Only now, I can see this defeat for what it truly is.  This defeat has less to do with my shortcomings as an individual and more with the lack of understanding/knowledge of others. Where I am patient and diligent, others are not. Where I have an understanding of baby steps, others believe in the snapping of fingers approach.

This current idea of defeat that I am facing has required much of my soul searching time. I’ve built a pros and cons list so long that I can get by for 6 months without purchasing toilet tissue. I’m not the type of person to step down from a challenge. I view myself as an individual that sees things through. I definitely don’t like the idea that I’ve worked so hard to make something happen only to have to face the realization that none of my work or persistence has value to anyone other than myself.

I have, however, succumbed to the fact that my own wellness (mental, physical and emotional) is not worth risking to continue to try and move a mountain on my own. Yes, I said move a mountain. That’s the best metaphor I have for the situation I’m referring to. My child doesn’t deserve to have less of me than he should. I don’t deserve the foul moods I’ve been in for some while now. My personal relationships don’t deserve to suffer because this situation has sucked the life out of me. I have realized that not only will I be doing myself justice, but also everyone and everything around me, by allowing myself to accept this defeat and realizing that some battles just aren’t supposed to be won. I’d rather lose this battle and be well enough to win the war of life than to continue fighting (getting clobbered) by the small battle I’m currently faced with.

I apologize for this sounding all Woe is Me, I really just needed to write it so that I could be absolutely sure that I had come to terms with this. My common sense lesson in this is that we as human beings should focus more on ourselves and our personal sanity than on trying to fight losing battles. We need to be able to realize when to wave the white flag and when to let the ship sink. It doesn’t mean we suck or that we aren’t capable. It means we are wise enough to understand that we aren’t good to anyone, especially ourselves, if we continue to let ourselves get beat up by a losing situation.

That’s all I have for now.

#muchlove